Death's Sense of Humour
by Rose Bloodthorn
Summary: Like an impulsive Gryffindor, Tempest Potter jumped after her godfather. However, she receives a second chance. Now, she's in 1980 and a young French woman named Tempeste Rousseau: cousin to Lily Evans and an unknowing TMR JR's daughter. Who can she save
1. Chapter 1

AN:

Hi, y'all. I just thought I'd post this, it's been on my computer for ages. I'm posting it on this account to see if I should continue it. I do mess with religion and death a bit so that's mainly why it's on this account. I only have two chapters done and I hope you like it. I wouldn't mind a review but I warn you: religious zealots back off. This is only for fun, not to mock God or anything. I don't need you telling me I'll go to Hell for writing a story. If that's the case than that's the case. You're not God so don't pretend you'd know what he would say if he read this. Yeah, sorry. I'm tired and a little grouchy. Whatever. Anyway, I hope you like this at least somewhat.

Death's Sense of Humour

Chapter One: Facing Death

"Sirius... Sirius... Sirius _NO!"_ I cried out in anguish, watching in transfixed horror as Sirius tumbled through the veil all because of his stupid cousin's stunner. I tried running towards the veil but I was caught from behind.

"Tempy... Tempy... Tempy _NO!_ You can't go after him." came Remus Lupin's voice for it was he who was holding me back.

"The _HELL_ I can't. Now let me _GO!"_ I demanded, wriggling around in his grasp.

"Damn it! You'll _DIE!_ Listen to me, Tempest Lily Potter, you can't go after him! He's gone. He's dead now and if you go through you will be, too." Remus said in a choked voice.

"Well its a hell of a lot better then the alternative, _ISN'T_ _IT?_ An innocent man _DIED_ before his time, damn it, condemned in more then one way. Azkaban, Grimmauld Place, and now through that _DAMN_ veil. And the wizarding world thinks I'm a bloody _RAVING_ _LUNATIC_ but as soon as Voldemort shows his fucking ugly _SNAKEFACED_ _SELF_ everyone will act all like I'm a fucking female _Merlin_ or _Jesus_ _Christ,_ won't they? As far as I'm concerned the wizarding world can go to _HELL!"_ I growled. With that, I kicked my right foot back angrily and hit him right in the spot no man would want to be hit in. Remus, thank God, doubled over in pain and let me go. I felt bad about that but I couldn't just let him hold me back. I started running then, running towards the veil, dodging spells thrown from the Death Eaters and the Order members alike. Finally, I reached it and dove through into a curtain of black abyss.

What seemed like no time at all passed before I found myself in a stark white room. I was lying on the floor which didn't feel much like anything, really. I got up and stood shakily on my feet only to look down and blush, I wasn't wearing a thing. As I was wishing for clothes, I found myself in a pair of neatly-pressed white robes.

"Where _AM_ I?" I asked nobody in particular, looking around at the utter bareness and nothingness of the room. Suddenly, a woman appeared right in front of me.

"You're in my domain, of course. I like to call it DODGE: Domain of Death's Grand Excellence. Catchy, huh?" she asked. The woman was tall and stately with flowing gold hair to her waste. She wore robes of pure, bright white. Her skin was nearly as pale and her face was angelic. The only thing detracting from her appearance was her eyes: a deep, dark, lifeless black that did not go with the angelic appearance the rest of her had.

"You... you're _DEATH?_ But... but I always thought if Death or God or whoever existed he... it... they would be a _BLOKE?"_ I stammered questioningly.

"Doesn't everyone, kid? Nah, I'm as much a woman as you, maybe even more as I'm _DIVINE_ and all. But don't worry; the big guy upstairs is definitely a man. Much a _MAN_ as you can be, really. I'm not just Death, though, I go by Devil as well. I'm not all evil, ya know. I've just got to do my job to introduce strife and hardship to test my twinzy's little humans, like you. My twinzy gets to manipulate life and then pamper all the good little humans while I get to greet and judge all the humans that die. I also get the job of testing humans. Depending on how well they do, I either send them up to my twinzy or they go down with me. You with me so far?" the woman... Death... Devil... whatever asked in a chipper voice.

"Huh?" I breathed. This Death lady, if she was to be believed, was really throwing me for a six and I didn't know what to think. "But they always go on about the devil being male and all that, fallen angel Lucifer becoming Satan and stuff. So you mean to say you're God's _TWIN?"_

"Yup! Good old Goddard is my little bro." she said. "But don't tell him I said I was the oldest, he likes to deny that."

"_GODDARD?"_ I asked incredulously.

"Of course! But he and his big ego had to shrink it down to God just because it "sounded cool," so he said. He is _SUCH_ a guy. I go by many names: Death, Devil, Mother Nature, that sort of thing. I also ought to be known as Mother Time as well but my twinzy stole that one from me; he gets to manipulate the timestream. A note of advice, kid, never play my brother at poker. And as far as Lucifer and Satan? The name's Lucinda Sadie, nobody calls me Lucinda, you are to call me Sadie, and don't you forget it!"

"Erm... okay?" I responded nervously.

"Anyway, like I said, I judge all the people who die. Hmmm, let's go over the stats, shall we? Your name is Tempest Lily Potter. You were born on July 31, 1980. Your parents were killed by a madman, Voldemort, and trust me when I say that when he's finally done cheating me he's got a nice, cozy spot in the deepest depths of Hell. You've had a hard life and grown up all right despite that. You've saved Hermione Jane Granger from a troll, saved the Philosopher's Stone, saved Ginevra Molly Weasley from the Chamber of Secrets, saved Sirius Orion Black, saved Gabrielle Antoinette Delacour from being killed by the merpeople because of their animosity with veela, stopped a veela-merpeople war, tried to be noble and share the triwizard cup, and come to save a man who didn't need saving. With all that I _WOULD_ have given you a ticket right up to my twinzy's domain but I can't do that now. Do you know why?" Sadie asked.

"Erm... why?" I asked. I winced at the glare she sent me. It wasn't as though I was the religious sort - the only thing the Dursleys ever branded into me about God was how he'd throw me in Hell for my "freakishness," whatever.

"You silly, silly, silly girl. Why, she asks, oh _WHY?_ Because you committed suicide, you _STUPID,_ _SELFISH_ _GIRL!_ Instead of dealing with the pain you just jump in after your godfather, consequences be _DAMNED!_ I didn't _LET_ you survive the killing curse as a fifteen-month-old _BABY_ just for you as a _SILLY_ fifteen-year-old _GIRL_ to kill yourself! And let's not mention that it _WASN'T_ _YOUR_ _TIME!_ You were _SUPPOSED_ to get married, have _LOTS_ of little children, and die an old woman but _NO!_ You go and _OFF_ _YOURSELF!"_ Sadie snarled, a crazed glint in her black eyes.

"Well it was _BETTER_ then the alternative. If the veil had led somewhere else on Earth I could have at least gotten Sirius back home, _RIGHT?"_ I snapped heatedly.

"But you didn't care if you died, _DID_ _YOU?_ You _DIDN'T_ _CARE!_ And because of this I'm being urged by my twinzy to send you straight on down to Hell! Your parents, grandparents and so-on are up in Heaven. I've even sent _Sirius_ up there already. And _CEDRIC_ is their, too. You were stupid, Tempest Potter, a total _IDIOT._ You were created _BETTER_ _THEN_ _THAT!"_ Sadie roared.

"Well what _ELSE_ could I have done? And I as good as _KILLED_ Cedric, I as good as _KILLED_ Sirius. You might as well send me on to Hell, that's _JUST_ what I _DESERVE."_ I snapped furiously, tears clouding my already dubious vision.

"And that's why we're not going to." Sadie said a bit more gently.

"_HUH?"_

"You've still got a pure heart, a pure soul, or as pure as a teenage girl's heart and soul can be, at any rate. God and I have decided to let you redeem yourself."

"How?" I asked.

"By sending you back, of course!" Sadie answered cheerfully.

"Back? You mean like to my younger self or something?" I asked.

"Oh no, not at all. You'd go insane with two souls in the same body! It would be against nature to expel your younger soul. No, that wouldn't work. You'd have a new life, a new name, new memories. You'd still keep your old ones, of course, but nobody else would be able to detect them by _ANY_ means. What we do is allow a child to live who otherwise wouldn't have and, as no soul would have been created yet, it wouldn't be against our laws to squeak you in their. Hmmm, now where to put you? If I sent you to the 1930s or 1940s you could possibly raise young Tom Riddle but he was destined to become evil, you couldn't have done anything for him. The 1940s are a bit too messy anyway... I don't like them. I don't think I was quite so swamped from World War I and World War II as I had been since the dark ages... though the American Civil War is a pretty close runner-up. Then there's the 1950s but you couldn't do much good there with Riddle disappeared. The 1960s and 1970s might work but then again, I don't know. It'd be hard to gather any intelligence while fighting off Death Eaters. Ah yes, I believe 1980 would be perfect. Right before the war ends. You can stop the worst of the attacks; that's when things get really violent, 1980." Sadie rambled.

"Wait... but... how do you know I'll accept?" I asked, even though I was already heavily considering it.

"Easy, this is Dodge, my domain, and so I know what's going through that brain of yours. You'll do it." Sadie said and I found myself nodding.

"So I could save Mum and Dad?" I asked.

"Maybe, maybe not."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that some things have to happen. Even if they had a trustworthy secret-keeper they could, say, be somewhere else that night and be killed or another family, like the Longbottoms, could suffer their fate, and yours, for that matter." Sadie responded.

"Their fate? My fate? Why do you say the _LONGBOTTOMS_ of all people?" I asked.

"You don't know?" Sadie asked. "You know _NOTHING_ of the _PROPHECY?"_

"I know _Of_ the prophecy; that's how I wound up here; but I dunno what it says, exactly. Shouldn't you know what I do and don't know?" I asked.

"No, not at all. My twinzy's the all-knowing one, not me." Sadie said.

"Erm... okay... so what, exactly, does this prophecy say?" I asked.

"Well the point is moot, isn't it? I'm sending you back and replacing the reality; the prophecy might not even be made the same, although it probably would be similar." Sadie shrugged.

"Could you just tell me what it said in _MY_ reality?" I asked.

"Sure. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. And the Dark Lord shall mark him or her as his equal, and he or she shall have the power the Dark Lord knows not. Either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. It would have boiled down to him or you. Then again, it could've been the Longbottom boy." Sadie said.

"_NEVILLE?_ You mean instead of having tortured parents he could have _DEAD_ parents? You mean _HE_ could've gotten the scar?" I asked.

"Exactly. His parents, like yours, defied Voldemort three times. Neville, like you, was born at the end of July, July 30th. Then again, that is the most basic interpretation. It, like other prophecies, could be interpreted in an almost infinite number of ways. This is just how Albus Dumbledore, who was given the prophecy, and Tom Riddle, who was told part of it by minion Severus Snape, decided to look at it. I have words for Albus as well but that's neither here nor there. As it stands he'll be lucky to be stuck in purgatory for the rest of existence." said Sadie.

"_What?_ _PURGATORY?_ Why _HIM?"_ I asked.

"He's done a lot of good, please understand, but his ego has inflated and gotten in the way. He has made so many horrible decisions and done so many things that he'll be lucky he isn't sent straight to Hell. All the bad basically cancels out the good. He'd need to make a complete 180 to even have a _CHANCE_ at Heaven." Sadie explained solemnly. "It's quite a pity, really."

"But _WHY?_ Just _WHAT_ has he done wrong?" I asked.

"Putting you with those _CRETINS,_ the Dursleys to start. Protecting Severus Snape, for a second offense. That man is _NO_ _GOOD._ He performed the Fidelius on your house, for a third strike. He withheld the prophecy from you, for a forth. Also, your heritage. Through your mother you are Ravenclaw's heir; through your father you are Hufflepuff's and Gryffindor's. But that won't matter so much with your new identity although I assure you you'll have plenty of interesting heritage all your own. Oh yeah, and he's been practically testing you from your first day into Hogwarts. But, like I said, that is neither here nor there. If you can erase all that damage, Albus _MIGHT_ have a better chance at making it into Heaven." Sadie said, spitting out Dumbledore's offenses. Thinking back, I realised she was right.

"You... you're right, aren't you? Well to Hell with that life, no pun intended. Even if I could go back there I wouldn't. I know I'm making a deal with the devil in every sense of the word but I think... I think it'll be worth it." I said, standing up tall.

"_GREAT!_ So any particulars on a house? Where d'you wanna live? Ooh, I think a lovely little cottage in Godric's Hollow would be nice! Oh yes! Two stories, a basement, four-bedroom, a library, kitchen, dining room, living room, study, duelling room, potions lab... oh, it'll be _BRILLIANT!_ Don't worry, dear, just leave it to me!" Sadie said with a cheerful, and somewhat creepy, smile. Then, the room dissolved into darkness. What had I done?


	2. Chapter 2

AN:

Last chapter I've got written, all. I do hope for reviews. If you gimme them, maybe I'll write more.

Chapter Two: Can I Kill A Stupid Immortal Named Lucinda Sadie Thanatos?

I slowly blinked open my eyes to look up at an unfamiliar ceiling. It showed the sky outside which was just reaching sunrise. I realised then that my vision was sharper then it had ever been before. My two new hands, both petite but slender and long-fingered, reached up and felt my new face. Sure enough, I wasn't wearing any glasses. As I slowly sat up in bed, a note fluttered onto my lap. Warily, I picked it up and read its contents.

Greetings, Tempy-Dear:

Go on ahead and look around your new home. I think you'll like it. You'll find a trunk at the end of your bed with everything you need. This includes your birth certificate, school acceptance letter, exam scores, OWL scores, NEWT scores, etc. I didn't make you perfect with everything, of course, I tried to give you some different strengths and such. You'll also find I let you keep your parceltongue ability as well as gave you two freebies, ones that you had in your last life but a certain headmaster locked away. Congratulations, you are now a full-fledged, completely capable metamorphmagus and a seer. You'll also find that you're an animigus as well although I won't tell you what your form is, that's no fun. You should remember anyway. The more you see and the more you think about this life the more you'll remember. As a jump-start, though, you just moved into this cottage after Christmas. This is New Year's Day, 1980. You also have a few pets. First is your krup, Vader. Well, technically he's half-krup, half-grim but whatever, you won't mind, will you? Of _COURSE_ _NOT!_ Then you've got a kneazel, Bas as well. Well... she might have a bit of sphinx in her... but that's cool, right? She doesn't look like a sphinx but she talks! Oh yeah, and you've got a phoenix as well. Garnet is her name, and sometimes her mate, Apollo, pops in. Anyway, tell them Tante Sadie says "hi," won't you?

Toodles,

Lucinda Sadie Thanatos,

Death Personified,

Devil Incarnate,

Mother Nature,

Mistress of Hell

I shook my head; something told me I'd bit off much more than I could chew. From my spot sitting up in bed, I decided to look more around the bedroom. The bed itself was far more comfortable and far larger then I was used to. It was a canopy bed made of a fine, pale beechwood. The canopy was a beautiful sky blue that got a little darker towards the bottom. The bedspread of the bed itself was thick, soft, and luxuriant. It was a beautiful ocean blue. The sheets of the bed were white. There were also many thick pillows, some of them covered in blue shams trimmed in white, others that my head had rested on just showing a white case. There was a nightstand on either side of the bed made of the same beechwood with marble tops. Both of them had lamps as well as a few small pictures which I decided to look at later. The one nearest to me had an alarm clock, the one on my other side actually had a phone on it, a white rotary with a gold-coloured dial. Both of the lamps were shaded in a sky blue trimmed in white. Right above the nightstands on either side there were windows framed by curtains of the same shade as the canopy. The curtains were tied back with white ties as were the canopy curtains.

Stretching, I got out of the bed and set my feet on a soft, ocean blue rug running along the edge of the bed. There was a pair of cozy-looking slippers that I put my feet in. Stepping to the front of the bed I saw that there was another of those runner rugs on the other side of it. At the foot of the bed, just like Sadie said, there was a trunk made of the same beechwood. On its lid was a crest that I couldn't quite put my finger on, two wands crossed with three stars coming out of each tip. In the center of the room was a large, round rug the same colour as the two smaller rugs. The rest of the floor was a beautiful, gold-coloured wood. The room had a dresser with another lamp and some more pictures on it. It was made of beechwood as well. Also, on another wall, there was a small marble fireplace, its mantel filled with pictures and knickknacks. Above it, there was a large, framed picture of the ocean and beach, a large and pale castle in the distance. In front of the fireplace there was a couch cushioned in ocean blue. In front of it was a glass-topped beechwood coffee table. Under the table was a small, ocean blue rug. On the opposite wall there was a decent-sized bookshelf filled with books. The bookshelf was made of the same beechwood seen throughout the room. To the left of the bookshelf was a large window with a window seat. The seat was cushioned in ocean blue with blue pillows trimmed in white. One door, I discovered, led into a closet and the other led into the bathroom.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the bathroom. It was a good size but not too ridiculously large. The walls were sky blue and the floor tiles were an alternating pattern of sky and ocean blue. The ceiling, like that of the closet, was not enchanted. On the back wall, there was a large, white soaking tub. A little door led into a private toilet. Across from that, there was a double sink. On the wall to the right of the bathtub was a large shower stall. Bracing myself, I stepped up to the sink and looked in the mirror.

The first thing that I noticed was that I was... well... short. I was barely five feet tall, if that. Unlike when I was younger with the Dursleys, this height looked healthy and natural on me. I had only just grown to five four in my previous life and I was far too skinny. Now, I was just petite. My over-all frame was slender, my legs were not exactly long but they were long for this frame, I supposed. My arms were skinny, my hands, although small, slender and long-fingered. I had more of a pear figure, not an apple. My breasts weren't huge but I wouldn't want them to be. They were just a large B. The face was a mixture of two I'd seen before. Parts of it, the round kindness, the smallish, pink mouth, and the ears reminded me a bit of my mum although there were some differences. However, the high cheekbones, longish nose, and grey eyes reminded me of one person I'd seen before but I didn't even want to think of it. My hair was wavy and strawberry-blonde; more strawberry then blonde, really, more like dark red with thick gold highlights. It went down in a sassy layered cut to my shoulders, framing my face. The biggest difference, however, was that my scar was completely gone. All-in-all, I was pleased. Sighing, I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and took a quick shower. Walking into my closet afterwards, I reflected that I must have a fair bit of money because my clothes were quite nice. I decided to put on a pair of white corduroy pants and a fuzzy blue sweater with a white lily flower on the front. I realised my sense of style was a bit more, well, girly.

Once I was dressed, I went back into my room. Treading over to my nightstand table, I picked up my wand only to realise it wasn't quite my wand. A memory flashed into my mind.

"Ebony and unicorn hair, nine and one quarter inches. A fine enchanting and offense wand." said a craggy-faced man I didn't recognise. I almost dropped my wand in shock when I realised he was speaking French. Getting my breathing under control and levitating the trunk, I decided to go through this stuff in the living room. I exited into an upstairs hall that was more like a square foyer. It had soft cream walls and an cherry wood floor. The ceiling was just that, a normal ceiling. Running down the middle of the hall was a thick, cushy red carpet trimmed in gold which went right from the back of the hall to the head of the staircase. It also branched off to the other doors of the hall. All the internal doors were cherry as well. There were six internal doors altogether. The door I had just exited from was the furthest on the left. On the back wall of the hall, there was a set of white french doors that led out onto a balcony with two white wicker rockers and a little white table. Walking across the hall, I opened the door and gasped at what I found, the second story of a beautiful library. It had clean, white-washed walls, cherry floors, and cherry bookshelves. The ceiling was enchanted just like the one in my room was. I was on a balcony that went a quarter of the way across it with a few small tables as well as some cherry tables with red-cushioned chairs around them. The bookshelves just went around the perimeter of the walls on this floor. Halfway up the walls to the left and right there were little study niches. The one on the right had a small table, two beanbag chairs, one red and one blue, and a ceiling lamp hanging from above. The one on the left had a large window and a cushy window seat. This seat was cushioned in royal purple and gold. In the middle of the balcony rails was the entrance to a tight-looking spiral staircase which I decided not to take for now. I'd see the rest of the library later. Reluctantly, I walked out and shut the door. Both of the middle doors led to simple guest bedrooms with regular ceilings as did the closest door to the left. The door to the right, however, led into a clean-looking bathroom with a shower-bath combo, sink, medicine cabinet, and toilet. The floor was tiled in yellow and white and the walls were a cheery white. The ceiling was not enchanted in any way. Leaving the bathroom, I took the sweeping staircase down into the entrance hall which was decorated the same as the upstairs hall. The rug from upstairs ran all the way down the stairs and across the floor to the large cherry front door. I first tried the very first door on the righthand side. Right-handd myself in a beautiful study. It had a similar colour scheme to my bedroom except where there was beechwood there was cherry, except for the floor. The floor was all ocean blue carpet. Back on the back wall there was a large cherry desk. Behind it was a comfortable-looking office chair cushioned in an ocean blue trimmed in light blue. The cherry desk had many things scattered across it, pictures, a cup with Muggle pens, Muggle paper, parchment, an ink well, and some quills. On one wall there was a fireplace much like the one in my room, also with pictures and knickknacks scattered across the mantel. A couch and coffee table like the ones upstairs sat in front of it. Smiling, I ducked out of the room. The next door led into a small half-bathroom with the same colour scheme as the one upstairs. Then, there was the door to the library. I entered in and saw that, save for the alcoves, the first quarter of the library was the same as upstairs. Entering into the rest of it, there were rows and rows of bookshelves. The room had many large windows surrounding it, making it bright and welcoming. There were tables and chairs scattered here and there as well as a few window seats and study niches. Exiting the library, I saw that there was a back door down here as well. It led out onto a patio with a white wicker, glass-topped table surrounded by white wicker chairs. Also, in the yard was a pool, covered for the winter. Moving back into the house, I saw a door that led into the basement. My new memories told me that there was a potions room and training room down there with stone walls and floors but brightly lit. The next room was a well-equip kitchen with the best appliances available for the 1980s. The floor was simple white tiles, the walls were sky blue, the cabinets and drawers were beach, and the counters white marble. Exiting the kitchen I went into the dining room. It had white walls, cherry floors, and a cherry table and chair set cushioned in red and gold. The ceiling was enchanted to show the sky. Finally, I entered the living room. It was gold-coloured like my study was with the ocean blue carpet, sky blue walls, enchanted ceiling, and cherry furniture. Yet another fireplace was in there with still more pictures and knickknacks. On one wall beneath a window was a beautiful baby grand piano, also with things on it. There were a few armchairs by the fireplace, cushioned in ocean blue. On one wall was a large, for the 1980s anyway, television with a couch and coffee table in front of it that matched those in my study and upstairs. There was also a large stereo. Lastly, there was a beautiful old grandfather clock near the door.

With a sigh, I thwumped into one of the armchairs and put the trunk in front of me. Basking in the warmth of the fire, I reluctantly opened it. On the very top of the trunk I saw something with Birth Certificate printed across the topmost edge. With slightly shaking fingers, I picked it up and read it.

Name: Tempeste Virginie Rousseau

Date of Birth: December 25, 1960 at 12:00 AM

Height At Birth: 19 inches

Weight At Birth: 7 lb 13 oz

Mother: Virginie Juliet Rousseau

Father: Tom Marvolo Riddle

Place of Birth: Hospital de Bourbon, Paris, France

"_NON!_ Non _non_ _NON!_ _MERDE!_ _MON_ _DIEU!_ _NON!"_ I screamed, dropping the certificate in shock. It didn't even register to me that I had just read the entire damned thing and yelled out in _FRENCH._ "God _DAMN_ you, Death!"

"He can try." I could have sworn I heard her voice laugh. Snarling in anger, I threw the birth certificate onto the unoccupied armchair. My anger intensified as I saw an official-looking document next entitled Wizarding Name Change. Picking it up, realising it was in English this time, I read it.

Wizarding Name Change:

As per British Ministry rulings, when a wizard or witch of unknown paternity is found to have a wizard father of British citizenship prior to their coming-of-age, their name must be changed to declare this. This is so that good family lines can be properly recognised. Even if, in any case, the young wizard or witch in question is a citizen of another country, these rulings must be carried out as, by their father, they are also citizens of Britain. This document is to signify the change of name of one of these such individuals.

Birth Name: Tempeste Virginie Rousseau

Birth Mother: Virginie Juliet Rousseau (Muggle)

Birth Father: Tom Marvolo Riddle (wizard)

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Proper Name: Tempeste Virginie Rousseau-Riddle (known in British territory simply as Riddle)

Nationality(s): French (mother,) English (father)

Age: 15

School: Beauxbatons Academie de Sorcellerie et Sorcier

Heritage Discovered: Miss Riddle ingested a brewed heritage potion during potions class in this, her fourth year of schooling at Beauxbatons. As per Ministry law, it had to be reported.

Other Notes: As the potion shows not only the parents' birth name but any aliases, the pseudonym "Lord Voldemort" showed up with her father's name as well. This information, in the British Ministry, is highly classified although well-known even before the potions' revelation in the girls' home country, France. Also, it is noted through the potion that Miss Riddle has one magical relative on her mother's side, a Muggle-born witch named Lily Virginie Evans.

Trembling in anger, I also tossed this name sheet onto the unoccupied chair where the birth certificate also lay, mocking me. At least I was related to my (former?) mum.

A torrent of memories flooded into my head then. I could remember back to when I was a little girl. Maman, for that was what I called her, would tell me of how wonderful my father was with his charming smile, dazzling grey eyes, and longish, wavy mahogany hair. She told me of how she had met him, in England visiting her sister, my auntie Juliet, and her family in early March of 1960. They had grown continually closer, she said. When I was smaller she would say how events two weeks after her arrival had culminated in her being blessed with me. When I grew older, however, and knew of sex and alcohol, she had told me more of the truth. How they had gotten utterly smashed at a pub and gone back to her fancy resort suite, how they had had a nice, drunken shag, and how he had left her to wake up alone. When I got my letter to Beauxbatons, Maman admitted she didn't know whether or not my father was a wizard. Oh, poor Mammaire, if only you had known. She had been shocked to find out who my father was, let alone he was currently the most feared wizard in Europe. It had nearly broken her, I think. Of course she had also been shocked by finding out that Cousin Lily was a witch like me.

That was another story altogether. I knew of Tante Juliet from a young age. She was my mother's identical twin sister. They had come from a wealthy French family and so both I and my cousins grew up wanting for nothing. Maman did her best to not spoil me and to instill high moral values in me. Anyway, that's beside the point. As they grew older, Maman and Tante Juliet grew more distant. Maman was more liberal and wild, Tante Juliet was more conservative and restrained. The final straw, really, had been Maman's one-night stand resulting in me. Maman told me that Tante Juliet had said she was living in sin; how she ought to be married as she was with a respectable husband like John Evans, her own. Maman always tried to prove to her sister that she was just as good as her. All through my childhood I could remember the two women, through letters or the phone, comparing me with my cousins. "Petunia did this," or "Lily did that," were common phrases in my aunt's vocabulary although there was a more significant amount of "Lily did that," as we were closer in age, only about eleven months apart.

I remember the glee in Tante Juliet's voice as she told Maman through the phone when Lily and I were eleven that Lily had been accepted to a special school for the gifted. I could almost feel Tante Juliet's bubble bursting when Maman told her I had been accepted to a special school for the gifted as well, in France by the Mediterranean, that I would be going in a year after Lily because I was almost a year younger. I knew both of them still felt smug, though. Maman thought _LILY_ was just another Muggle and Tante Juliet thought _I_ was just another Muggle. Lily and I, who had never met, began writing to each other, trying to water down our school lives, thinking the other was Muggle. Even through the letters Lily had become my dearest friend. It was weird because I knew in my other life Lily was my mum, not my cousin.

I could remember confronting her through a letter about how she was a witch. She was surprised to find that I was a witch as well. She was one of my only friends when it got out in Beauxbatons that I was Voldemort's daughter. Tears splotching my letter, I had wrote Lily about everything, not wanting to lie to her. Instead of shunning me, like I expected, we became even closer. We didn't keep anything from each other. What was going on in England had been watered-down a bit for the French but Lily told me more in detail what my disgusting father was doing. Although we had never met we planned to someday, sending each other pictures of each other and our friends. That was why I was here, actually. Lily had said she was moving into the town with her husband, James Potter, and she invited me to come away from France. France was painful anyway. My father, who still didn't know about me, had murdered my mother on a Death Eater raid back in summer of 1977, right after my fifth year at Beauxbatons. I had been taken in by another good friend, Antoinette Delacour nee Montrosse. She had been in fourth year when I was in first but was like my mentor and older sister, the only friend to stick by me other than Lily when my full parentage was revealed.

Anyway, I was in Godric's Hollow, apparently, because Lily had invited me. I guess Sadie had to find some excuse for me to be here. I remembered with a jolt that I had been invited to dinner by Lily so I would finally meet her and her infamous husband. They, apparently, lived just across the street. Lily also said she had some big news to share with me.

Sighing and still vowing revenge on Sadie Thanatos I pulled out the next thing in the trunk which turned out to be my letters for all seven years at Beauxbatons. Then, I saw what I had been curious about. As a British citizen, I now remembered, I had been forced in my fifth and seventh years to take the OWL'S and NEWT'S along with the Beauxbatons tests. In France, there were standardised tests in first, second, fourth, sixth, and seventh years. Taking a breath, I picked up my OWL scores.

Ordinary Wizarding Level Examination

Pass Grades Fail Grades

Outstanding: O Poor: P

Exceeds Expectations: E Dreadful: D

Acceptable: A Troll: T

Tempeste Virginie Riddle has achieved:

Ancient Runes: O

Arithmancy: E

Astronomy: A

Care of Magical Creatures: E

Charms: O

Defence Against the Dark Arts: E

Divination: A

Herbology: O

History of Magic: P

Potions: O

Transfiguration: O

I shrugged, not bad. Four O's, three E's, two A's, and a P. Knowledge of my strengths and weaknesses filled my mind. I was good with plants, animals, and brewing potions. Also, I was good with charms and transfiguration. However, I was more offensive then defensive in this life thus the E. Ancient Runes was fascinating to me, Arithmancy was a class Maman wanted me to take. I was never into astronomy or divination, hence the A's. However, if my new memories were correct, my Divination NEWT was much better, an instant O as my seer skills had been discovered then. Also, I remembered, I had only scraped the O on transfiguration because I was a metamorphmagus and, by my NEWT's, an animigus. My NEWT results were just as good except for the aforementioned O in Divination, I hadn't done Astronomy or History of Magic, and I had just barely missed getting an O in Ancient Runes, getting an E instead. All-in-all, I was pleased.


End file.
